Health Teacher and Pill-Popper?

This is going to come up eventually, so I might as well face it head on.

In what feels like a whole other lifetime ago, I was a middle school health teacher. I had colleagues, a principal, conferences to attend, lunch duty and most importantly- students.

Oh, how I loved those kids.

To be honest, they drove me crazy on a regular basis, but I loved that too (and let's face it- as a great person once said, crazy for me is not so much a drive as it is a short putt). Most teachers might tell you that the thing they teach for is to see that "a ha" moment- the look that comes over a kid's face when he realizes he's finally understood something. Those moments were great, of course, but what I lived for was the banter with the kids. The steady hum of conversation that middle schoolers are so famous for- that's what I loved to hear, and when I was privileged to be included in it, even better.

And even if it does sound a little like bragging, I don't mind saying that I was a pretty good teacher. Honest as much as I felt they could understand at their age, funny when I could be (which was usually most of the time), creative in my assignments and assessments and welcoming of criticism from my colleagues and (gulp) principal. I was even a nationally certified health education specialist. I had some alphabet soup after my name and everything.

So how the heck did I go from all of that to what I am now- a recovering addict and alcoholic? I can think of a few poignant life events that certainly contributed to the milieu, births and deaths and such but really- it was just me. My personality, my way of dealing with life (or lack of a way of dealing with life) when the stress got to be overwhelming, not using the coping skills that I had ironically taught for so many years. It was just me.

And now I have to give myself- and make myself take- more advice that I used to freely give to the kids. Get over it and move on. It's going to take awhile to do, but every day that goes past, I feel a little stronger, a little more resourceful, a little more sure that I can do it. I am deeply grateful for the people out there who continue to pray for me and send me encouraging messages. Some days it's exactly what I need to keep going. Thanks.